Questioning God
As a culture, we do not handle grief well. Whether intentionally or not, culture wants grievers to get over it. It is an uncomfortable topic that people tend to avoid, so culture just doesn’t want to approach the subject of grief. Even more so, faith is a taboo topic in mainstream culture. The combination of faith in grief is almost unheard of, but oh so important.
Even in the church, we unintentionally brush grief under the rug. We say things like “It was God’s will” or “God uses all things for our good.” And while both of those are true, they are not particularly helpful, especially in early grief. Many Christian grievers find their faith challenged to the very core. I was one of them. We grow up believing that God is good and He is trustworthy, but when tragedy strikes, those foundational beliefs are called into question. Is God good if He allowed this horrible thing to happen? Is He really trustworthy is this is were He has brought my family? Is He loving if He chose not to intervene while my husband’s brain was suffocating itself? In grief, God does not feel all that loving, kind or trustworthy. It ultimately begs the question, “If what I believe about God is wrong, why am I even bothering to follow Him?”
It is these very questions that need to be discussed, but very rarely are. Most Christians, like me, thought it to be disrespectful to think these things of God, although at the time, I didn’t care too much if He thought I was being rude. However, I, like many people, did care about what my friends and family thought and saw in me. I think it is still a commonly thought idea that it shows weakness or lack of faith to question God in these ways. I have always prided myself on being resilient and strong to a fault and did not want to appear weak, so I kept these questions to myself. This was almost the detriment of my entire life’s faith. See, while many believe, as I used to, that questioning God is horrible and should never be done, I think that belief is the very thing that leads people in pain to walk away from God.
But what we need to realize is that it is okay to question God! The Bible is fraught with agonized people questioning God. Even the man after God’s own heart, King David, questioned God numerous times in the Psalms. Ps 22:1 “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” Ps 13:1 “Will You forget me forever?” Ps 22:1 “Why are You so far from saving me…?” These are just a few examples of the questions David brought before God during his time of trouble. If the man after God’s own heart, from whom Jesus himself descended, was able to question God, why do we believe so strongly that it is wrong? Even Jesus questioned the Father. Jesus had never felt separation from God before his crucifixion. While hanging on the cross, with the weight of all mankind’s sin on his shoulders, Jesus for the first and only time felt separation from the Father. Matthew 27:48 reads “and about the ninth hour Jesus cried out in with a loud voice… ‘My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?’” Notice this is the exact same question David asked generations earlier. Anyone in pain or facing a difficult situation will ask the same question, though perhaps worded a bot differently. Why me? Why now? Where were You? Why did You allow this? If David, a pillar of faith, and Jesus himself can ask these difficult questions, why do we feel we are not allowed the same?
It was only by working through these questions have I restored my faith in Christ. Like David, my questions slowly transformed from accusatory to worshipful. Ps 8:4 “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him and the son of man that you care for him?” Ps 18:31 “Who is the rock except our God?” Ps 27:1 “Whom shall I fear?”
I encourage you, when trouble finds you, don’t be afraid to question Him. God is big enough to handle even the worst of our tantrums. You may be surprised at the peace and faith that truly rises from the questions brought out of despair.
Questioning God is not a lack of faith. Anger is not a lack of faith. Fear is not a lack of faith. Doubt is not a lack of faith. Uncertainty is not a lack of faith. These are all expected human emotions in difficult times. It is not weak to be human. To deny human emotion is to deny the very being God created us to be.
