Anxious?

One of the most prominent emotions I remember in the days following Trav’s death was anxiety. I had so much to do. I had a funeral to plan, a casket to pick, a cemetery plot to buy. All while still having to care for a baby and myself. Financially, I had to figure out how to take leave from work, contact our employers to manage insurance issues, determine if I could afford to keep our home. All of these practical and logistical necessities within the first week after losing my husband. Just the memory of it gives me anxiety. Little did I know at the time, this was just the beginning of months of varying levels of anxiousness. I think anyone who has dealt with grief and loss can relate to this in some way or another. Anxiety is a very common part of grief. It is inevitable.

So what do we do with this inevitable anxiety? Well, there are several ways I have seen people manage it. Some ignore it completely and act like nothing is bothering them. Others self-medicate with alcohol or another substance. Some use distraction, packing their schedule so that there is no time to even consider their emotions, let alone work through them. Seeing all of these different ways people deal with anxiety made me ask the question: How should we deal with it? What is avoidance vs. what is healthy? As always, the Bible gives us some insight.

Most people who have spent any amount of time in church has likely heard the verses about peace and anxiety. The ones commonly cited to grievers are vague and abstract, like 1 Peter 5:7 “Casting your cares on Him, because he cares about you” or Phillipians 4:6, “Be anxious for nothing, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Be anxious for nothing? I was already anxious, so that didn’t help. Cast your cares? That sounds great, but how exactly are we to cast our cares? In theory, it is as simple as a prayer or just letting go of worries. In reality, it is far from being that simple. When used flippantly, these verses come off as dismissive and pointless. They can read as the Biblical equivalent to “just calm down.” Anyone who has dealt with anxiety can speak to how difficult it is to just let go, and how frustrating the “just calm down” sentiment can truly be. While these verses have true merit and speak to a very real solution to anxiety, for many, it is just too simple and vague to be realistic.

If you are like me, you prefer action steps. When I get overwhelmed and exhausted, just tell me what I need to do and I will get it done. If I’m already stressed beyond belief, do not expect me to spend time and energy on abstract concepts that I may or may not be able to practically achieve. Unfortunately for me, I did not know the Bible gives some clear instructions on what to do when we feel anxious. However, I am happy to share with you what I have since learned.

Several weeks ago, I was listening to the Sunday sermon from one of our pastors. I was curious when he titled the sermon “I feel anxious.” Was this going to be another sermon on the vague verses like 1 Peter 5:7 or Phillipians 4:6? Again, those verses are valid and meaningful, but very difficult to act on in times of crisis. To my pleasant surprise, he did not cite any of those verses. Instead, he preached about the tangible actions we can do when we feel anxious.

In Isaiah 40, the nation of Israel was fractured and fallen to other nations. Their home (Jerusalem) was destroyed and their homeland was taken. In a time as difficult as that, when every aspect of their lives was uncertain, God spent the prophet Isaiah. Isaiah gave instructions to the Israelites on how to remind themselves of God’s power. After all, stress and anxiety are ultimately rooted in a lack of control, so what better way to alleviate anxiety than to remember Who is in control? Isaiah 40:26 says, “Lift your eyes to the heavens; Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name…” In this verse, Isaiah is reminding the nation of Israel what they should have already known: God is in control. When we are anxious, we can look to the stars (or any part of creation for that matter). If God is capable of placing and managing all the stars, is He not capable to manage the situation we are in?

In Isaiah 40:30-31, the nation of Israel is instructed to wait. “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who wait in the Lord will renew their strength… they will not grow weary.” Now, does this mean that if we are willing to wait, we will never be uncomfortable? No, struggle is part of human existence. As humans, we don’t like anything uncomfy, especially things like grief. We want our pain and suffering to just go away, and go right now. But that is not was Isaiah was saying to the Israelites. Isaiah knew that dependence on God only comes when we are willing to give up control. If we can stop trying to control a situation (and in all honesty, if you’re reading this, you’re probably well aware of how little control we really have on life itself), then we can wait in Him. But what does “wait” mean? Just sit there and do nothing? Absolutely not. It is wait IN the Lord. It is being intentional about staying in the presence of God, whether that is in prayer, reading your Bible, or listening to music. Whatever you do to be in the presence of God, don’t let that fall away in times of anxiety; that’s when you need it most.

The good news is, Jesus is the only person who actually wants to be with someone who is stressed or anxious. How many times have you expressed grief, anxiety, or stress only to have the people around you either turn away, change the subject, or ignore you completely? Most people don’t like to be around someone who is stress, because we don’t like uncomfy things. Not Jesus. In His time on earth, He welcomed the anxious. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Remind yourself of who God is by looking at what He has created. Be intentional about spending time with God, in whatever form that takes for you. Jesus is gives rest to those who are willing to go to Him.