Names of Jehovah
Growing up in the church, I knew that God had many names. I also knew the one of them was Jehovah, simply the Hebrew name for God. What I did not know until well into adulthood was that there was more to the name Jehovah. In fact, there are many Jehovah names, each with their own meaning. I had no idea of their significance or their influence on my own grief journey. I only came to these realizations a few weeks ago, almost 5 years after Travis’ death. For the sake of this post, I want to focus on three specific names.
Early in my grief journey, the name Jehovah Jireh was the most apparent to me. Jehovah Jireh means My Provider. One of my earliest coherent thoughts (that I can remember) after losing my husband was wondering if I would be able to keep our home. We had just bought our house six months prior and on two incomes. I was now suddenly down to one income, a little baby, and a whole lot of financial concerns. There were many things that led to my current stability, but one of them was a lovely woman who happened to be helping me deal with the changes I needed to make at work. I believe my Jehovah Jireh placed this woman in my life to help provide for me. It was she who told me how to get a paid leave without having to use vacation time. Another woman at my husband’s company set up for me to keep his insurance, free of charge for a year after his death. His company also had a benefit I was unaware of, called the transition benefit. It was a monthly stipend to me for a year to help transition from two incomes to one. There were also several others God used to be Jehovah Jireh in non-financial ways. Some brought us food, others cared for my baby when I was unable to do so. I once had a pizza delivery I did not order. On the box was written “We are so sorry for your loss. Your family is in our prayers.” To this day, I still do not know who sent it. Looking back on the days-to-months after Travis died, there are so many moments that I can see God working as My Provider.
As time passed and my grief progressed, the name Jehovah Rapha became more significant. Jehovah Rapha is the name meaning My Healer, or the God who heals. As anyone who has experienced grief knows, there is so much pain and trauma associated with loss. There is even a medical phenomenon known as “broken heart syndrome.” This refers to when the muscles in the heart become stunned or weakened, usually as a result of severe emotional distress. I think it would be safe to say that loss of a loved one could classify as severe emotional distress. I was blessed that I suffered more minor physical symptoms, but I still needed much healing in my body. However, I don’t think Jehovah Rapha refers only to the physical body. I think the often-overlooked but so incredibly important aspect of healing involves the mind and spirit of a person. Mentally, I was struggling. I never reached the level of depression, but I have seen those who have. Even though I was not clinically depressed, I still suffered emotional outbursts, social withdrawal, and severe mood swings. My mind was ravaged by the loss of my spouse, and I needed the One who heals. My spirit was also damaged. My faith had been shaken to its very foundation and I was unsure it would ever recover. Now, I can say with confidence that my faith is stronger after this loss that it could ever be otherwise. The rebuilding of faith was not overnight. The God who heals is also a God who is patient. He is big enough to handle our tantrums, and I threw so so many. I was angry and hurt that God would allow this. It was only after much time, studying, and prayer that I am able to say I have healed physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Now, as my grief has healed, God has become Jehovah Shalom. This name means The Lord is Peace. During most of my grief journey, I did not know any peace. As Jehovah Rapha worked to heal me, He also worked as Jehovah Shalom to give me moments of peace. At first, the moments were so small, barely longer than a single breath. But it was that single breath that gave me strength to carry on. As I became more aware of those moments, they became longer and more frequent (again, over several months, not overnight). Some might recognize the phrase peace that passes understanding, found in Philippians 4:7. In this passage, Paul is reminding the church in Philippi to focus their attention on the “God of peace” (Phil. 4:9). He was instructing them to pray about everything and put what they have learned about God into practice. By doing this, they will find peace in even the most difficult of situations. I had always brushed that off as just another one of those Christian-ese phrases I heard growing up, but little did I know how true it really was. My Jehovah Shalom gave me moments of peace in times when it didn’t make sense. Now, I can live in peace despite my loss.
Looking back on my grief journey, I can now see where God has helped me. I had not realized the significance of the different names of God, but it has become more clear to me looking at my own life. It is amazing to me how the name of God, even though it sounds so simple, is incredibly nuanced and complex. Three different names for a single entity, all having distinct meaning and presentations. Even more astounding is that God lives up to these names and more. He, as a single being, acts in so many distinct ways. We only need to be observant enough to see the beauty of it, even in the midst of pain.
