Naomi or Mara
Many are familiar with the Biblical story of Ruth. A beautiful tale of love and redemption. When someone thinks of the story, they often think of Ruth and Boaz. The focus is usually on the redemption and love that leads to their marriage. What is often forgotten is the woman who started the story: Naomi. It is her pain and grief that lead to the beautiful tale of Ruth and Boaz.
Naomi, her husband, and her two sons were forced to leave Bethlehem and live in the land of Moab. There, the two sons married Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth. When the three women became widows, Naomi decided to return to her homeland alone. But Ruth would not allow it; she insisted she accompany Naomi back to Bethlehem. After this, the focus of the story is shifted to Ruth. Naomi is often forgotten. In that short preface to the redemptive tale, Naomi experiences more pain than I can imagine. She not only lost her husband, but she also lost her children. As a widow, I can understand the pain of losing a husband, but I cannot imagine the grief of losing my children as well.
When Naomi returns to Bethlehem, she is a grief-stricken shell of the woman her friends had once known. Ruth 1:19 says “And the women said, ‘Is this Naomi?’” Because of her grief, she was almost unrecognizable. The Bible does not say, so this is purely speculation, but I imagine Naomi may not have looked like herself. Besides the aging of time (Ruth 1:4 says she lived in Moab for 10 years), Naomi suffered the aging of grief. When I look back at photos of myself before and shortly after Trav died, sometimes it is hard to believe they are of the same person. Grief and emptiness had swallowed me. My pain and sadness was etched into my face, even when I was trying to smile. I would imagine Naomi would be similar. She was returning to the home she had built with her husband. Where her sons were born and raised. She had left Bethlehem with a family, and was returning without them. She was returning to what may have seemed like nothing. How many times have grievers looked at the home they enjoyed with their loved one and only saw an empty house?
Naomi’s grief was so intense, it became her very identity. The next verses show the extent to which Naomi had lost herself in her pain. “She said to them, ‘Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Lord has dealt bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi…?’” (Ruth 1:20-21). In Hebrew, Naomi means pleasantness. Her identity, her very name, was in her joy. When she returned to Bethlehem, there was no joy left in her. She asks the women to call her Mara, which in Hebrew means bitter. She has been dealt a bitter hand, and it has robbed her of her joy.
While this change in identity seems appropriate, I think there is more than pain and bitterness attached to the name Naomi chose for herself. I dove further into the Hebrew roots for the name Mara and found something very interesting. Mara not only means bitter, but it also means strong. Perhaps she is swallowed by her grief, but starting to recognize that her grief has made her strong. Again, this is my speculation, but maybe Naomi recognized that while she was angered and severely hurt by her situation, she began to realize over time that she was growing and changing through her pain.
Toward the end of the story, Naomi surfaces again. Ruth had given birth to a son. While Naomi’s grandson could never replace her husband or sons, she was able to find joy again. This child revived Naomi’s spirit. She is again called Naomi, signifying her return to her identity in joy over bitterness. This did not magically happen when the child was born. No amount of situational happiness can restore a person’s joy. The women of Bethlehem summed it up pretty well, I think. “Then the women said to Naomi, ‘Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day…’” (Ruth 4:14). Naomi was given the blessing of a grandson, but it was truly through God that she received her joy. She recognized that God had been with her through her pain, and thus able to enjoy the grandchild she was given.
The last few verses of Ruth share an important genealogy. Naomi had been restored to herself through the birth of her grandson. However, this birth was far beyond Naomi. In the final verses, Naomi’s genealogy is traced to David, thus linking her family to the genealogy of Christ. Sometimes our situations reach far beyond we could ever imagine. I doubt Naomi believed the loss of her husband and sons would ever lead to the birth of the Savior of the world.
